


Illogical Correspondence

by Carlosaphina



Series: Unrelated Suicide Fics -- Spirk [1]
Category: Star Trek
Genre: Angst, F/F, Love, Not Happy, Sad, Soulmates — mentioned, Suicide, Wrote this in 20 minutes so pls don’t judge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:59:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carlosaphina/pseuds/Carlosaphina
Summary: Spock and Jim were in a relationship. Spock committed suicide.Kirk sends a message to Spock’s number, which is no longer active.F/F
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, Spirk - Relationship
Series: Unrelated Suicide Fics -- Spirk [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723639
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Illogical Correspondence

_Did you know that I can't go into our bathroom anymore? The one between our rooms, you know. I shared that bathroom with you, **I** should have seen your concealed pain, the way you couldn't accept a compliment, the way you couldn't bear letting anyone close._

_But I'm grateful, because every day and night that I was with you was a blessing, you know. I am happy that we had as much time as we did. I remember the way you blushed when I flirted with you, the way you let your guard down around me, the way I felt loved._

_And I really wish that I had been able to help you. To tell you that you could talk to me, but that probably wouldn't work. I remember asking you to meld with me, but you always refused. I thought it was just another Vulcan thing, you know, like sex after marriage. I thought that after we had bonded, you would want my mind. I didn't know how much you craved it._

_After hearing your note, I... I broke. You would probably raise an eyebrow, or comment on how illogical I am for saying something like that. Hell, you'd probably say I'm illogical for sending this to a number that will never reply, but at least you'd respond to me._

_I miss you, you know. I never would want you to stay in pain, but you leaving me behind felt so... painful. It's so hard to get help, I should know, but I wish... I wish so many things_

_I was going to ask you to bond with me tomorrow, did you know that?_ Jay's voice broke, her heart painful _I was going to get down on one knee and say,-- I was going to say, " S'chn T'gai Spock, you are the most elegant, beautiful, amazing woman I have ever known. You have done what no one else ever could. You captured my heart and soul, and made me want forever with someone other than the Enterprise. You make me crave something more, so, S'chn T'gai Spock, will you bond with me?" I wanted to make it perfect, have dinner by the light of a candle, I know it's inefficient, I know--_ Jay broke down to tears, her face red and puffy. She paused the recording until she calmed down _It would have been romantic, and warm and beautiful, and you would be my always. You would be the One. If you were here, you would have raised your eyebrow and said yes. You would show as much emotion as you could._

 _I love you still, and I always will. What is it that Vulcans say, " parted from me and never parted, never and always touching and touched'? I think I got it right. That would be part of my wedding vow. _ Jay was choking, her voice hoarse from the emotional pain.

_People keep telling me to move on, but I don't think I could even if I wanted to. I have and always will be yours. Somewhere, I know that our wedding happened. In some parellel universe, we would have forever. I guess now I'll just have to wait for the afterlife._ Jay ended the message, sending it to Spock's PADD. Jay had nothing besides the memories of Spock to remember her by, as Spock was the only Vulcan-Human hybrid in existence. But that wasn't the worst part.  The worst part was, Jay was right, they had a happy ending in a different universe. They were the Ones for each other. And they did have forever in a different universe. But not in this universe.

Jay died 43 years later, with her best friend, Bones, by her side. Her last words were, "Spock, final--" and then her voice rasped out of existence.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE Comment. ANYTHING in my inbox would make my day.


End file.
